Learning mentor, Jen Stewart, writes about how to give when you feel you have little to offer.
Some days, it feels like what I have to offer is so little, so measly and insignificant, that I cease to see the point of offering it. I feel guilty that it’s not more; embarrassed that it’s not shinier. Some days, it feels like what I have left it so little that I can’t offer it, I need it for myself just to survive.
As I pondered these feelings, a few people came to mind. The first was a young boy. He’s amongst a big crowd of people who have gathered to listen to Jesus. The day has grown long and people around him are hungry, but there is little food to be had nearby. He hears Jesus ask those around him to see how much food they have to share. The boy has in his bag a small meal. Enough for him, certainly, but nothing that will help feed this crowd of thousands.
I wonder what went through the boys mind as he made the choice about whether to offer his lunch. ‘Keep quiet, and I get to eat it all myself’
‘If I offer this, will they laugh at me?’
‘Surely someone else has more to offer’
‘How much difference will my lunch actually make?’
This boy chose to offer his lunch. Jesus blessed it, and multiplied it to feed over 5000 people that day (you can read the story of the feeding of the 5000 in John 6:1-15). What an incredible miracle to witness. What an impact this experience must have had on the boy’s faith! And not just his, but the 5000+ who were fed that day, and the millions who have read that story since. I am comforted by this story. Even when we feel that what we have is insignificant, if we offer it to Jesus, he can use it to do immeasurably more than we can imagine.
The second person who comes to mind is a widow. She lives with her young son, but is struggling to provide for them. There is a drought on the land. They’ve no food left. Enough only for one last meal, after which she knows they will starve. When she is collecting firewood to cook the meal, she meets a man who asks for water. She willingly provides it, but then he asks also for bread. She cannot help him here, she says. The man tells her that if she uses her last supplies to make bread for him, and then sees to her own meal, that the Lord will ensure her food shall never run out until the rains come again on the land.
I can only imagine what went through her mind. A stranger is asking for her last meal, telling her that if she gives it to him, her food will never run out. But he’s a stranger; can she trust him? And what about her son, surely it is more important for him to eat? And if God would let them get to this point before helping, why would he help them now?
I don’t know whether she responded out of resignation, thinking they would die anyway, or out of desperate hope that this might just be the lifeline they need, or perhaps she had a deep faith in the Lord that he would provide, but she gave that last meal to the stranger. His name was Elijah, he was a prophet, and as he had foretold, their food did not run out (you can read the story of Elijah and the widow at Zarephath in 1 Kings 17:1-16).
This story challenges me. I am fortunate to not be in anything like the situation of this widow. However, sometimes when it comes to energy levels, time or concentration, I can feel like I have so little left, that if I give it away, it will break me. There is something different though about offering what we have to God. This is not offering ourselves to join another church rota or do another task. But simply offering ourselves, as small and insignificant and weary as we may feel, and trusting that God will take care of us and use us in ways we could never have imagined.
I encourage you today to look for one small way that you could give something away or offer something. Perhaps dropping a meal to a friend, writing a letter or text message, giving a donation to a cause you care about, putting out food for the birds. It doesn’t need to be something big. As you do it, ask God to use and multiply your offering in ways you couldn’t imagine. You may not see the full impact of your small gift, but remember that we’re still reading the stories of the widow and the boy thousands of years later – I doubt they would ever have imagined that!
In these times, many people are struggling to put food on the table. If you are struggling, you can find out about your nearest foodbank here: https://www.trusselltrust.org/get-help/find-a-foodbank/